


Coming Home

by Xochiquetzl



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Finn/Poe if you squint., First Time, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Uncle Chewie is having a hard time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xochiquetzl/pseuds/Xochiquetzl
Summary: After the Battle of Exegol, Rey and an injured Ben are trapped together on an uninhabited planet.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [incognitajones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/incognitajones/gifts).



> Thanks to RembrandtsWife for the beta! I really appreciate you!

The X-Wing was built to sustain a single pilot and an astromech droid, but there was no way Rey was leaving Ben behind. He was still lying on the ground, pale and unmoving, barely breathing, with dark hollows under his eyes. It was treacherous retracing their steps, but she levitated him and brought him that way, despite her exhaustion. Her footsteps echoed. Once outside she dragged him across the dusty ground to the ship, lightening his dark clothes and raising a cloud of dust behind his dragging feet.

Exegol smelled like dust, like decay.

She levitated him again, into the cockpit. He was limp, his dark hair flopping over his face.

So tired. She supposed she’d literally been dead, which was an excellent reason to be exhausted. She climbed up onto the wing of the ship and looked in.

Ben was a tall, muscular man, and he took up a lot of space, especially unconscious. He sprawled across the seat, an arm hanging out the side, his breathing slow and regular, his head leaning awkwardly to one side. There was only one helmet—Master Luke’s helmet—and she put it on him. His hair fringed out under the sides of the helmet, and she resisted the urge to touch it.

She looked over at the TIE fighter parked next to the X-Wing. She hopped back down off the X-Wing, knees almost buckling under her as she landed, and opened the TIE fighter. No helmet. She supposed she could take the TIE fighter rather than the X Wing, but it seemed to be the same thing—a one person craft. It looked newer, but she still trusted the X-Wing more. She hopped back down, slower and more careful of her exhausted legs, and closed up the TIE fighter. Maybe they could come back for it, if nothing smashed into it.

They needed to get off this planet.

Rey climbed back in to the X-Wing, shoving Ben’s limp body around until they both fit, then pulled him in closer so he wouldn’t be caught in the canopy mechanism and closed the hatch. His helmeted head was heavy on her shoulder, and his pale face looked very young. She hadn’t noticed before, but the scar she had given him was gone. His body was warm against hers, which was comforting.

It was a tight, uncomfortable fit, but that was the least of her problems. No, she worried about air. Would the X-Wing hold enough air for two people? She watched Ben’s slow, regular, shallow breaths for a moment. His chest rose and fell under the black sweater.

The X-Wing had a smell to it. A hint of brine, perhaps. And the scent of Ben. He smelled briny himself after Endor, on top of the fresh clean man scent.

She’d never leave him behind, not after he’d sacrificed his life force to save her. No, she wouldn’t have left him behind before that. She hadn’t been able to spare a lot of energy to save him, but as long as they got to a medical droid soon there’d be no issues. Or if he got sufficient rest without a medical droid.

No, the only real issue was that the X-Wing…

She wasn’t panicking. They would be fine. They just needed to get out of here.

She closed her eyes, deliberately slowed her breathing, and worked her hand around the warm press of Ben’s body to launch the ship. Ben’s helmet rattled rhythmically against the glass until she pulled his head towards her. They left at high speed, the stars becoming a blur around the screen. She set course for the Resistance base and hoped for the best.

#

The best wasn’t particularly good. The X-Wing did its best to create enough air, but the atmosphere in the cockpit left Rey headachy and drowsy, and the X-Wing was making sad little alert beeps to point this out to her. It probably didn’t help that the ship had spent time under the oceans of Ahch-To.

She pulled up star charts, looking for nearby planets. The colorful lights seemed bright in the darkness of space.

There weren’t a lot of good options, so she headed to the nearest planet with a breathable atmosphere, an otherwise unlabeled green dot on the map. She sent a distress call, the ship shaking and bucking as it hit the atmosphere. There was no answer to her distress call, but it might take a while to reach the Resistance.

Trees and water, so much water. The ship let out a not-very-helpful series of proximity alert beeps as they missed the tops of trees by inches—and some loud slams as they hit a few. She barely avoided setting down in a swamp, finding a rocky outcrop. She popped the canopy and took a deep breath.

It smelled wet—like water—not clean water, but with a faint bit of decay. There were also plant smells, and what might be an animal.

Trees, and more trees, and vines, and swamp, and a mountain with a cave. It was mid-day, but they were in one of the few clear areas. Most places were green and shady, but the sun beat down on them, reassuringly hot but swamp damp.

Next to her, Ben stirred, breathing deeply himself. His nose and mouth wriggled a little.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know there wasn’t much air.”

Ben’s eyelashes fluttered. “Where am I?” he mumbled. He opened his eyes and looked around. “The afterlife is surprisingly damp.”

She laughed, mostly in relief. “That’s a good question. I had to land.”

Ben looked at the X-Wing, then around the planet, with a skeptical expression. “What were you thinking? I didn’t sacrifice myself so you could asphyxiate us in space.”

“You… you…! Ungrateful!” She laughed.

He smiled at her, but it was a weak smile. He was still very pale, with dark circles under his eyes.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, suddenly concerned.

“Like a bantha sat on me,” he said. He wrinkled his nose, which was adorable. “It even smells like a bantha.” His expression grew troubled. “I have a bad feeling about this planet.”

“Me, too,” Rey said. “I didn’t feel like I had a lot of choices for places to land. Hopefully someone will come and pick us up soon. I sent a distress call, so the Resistance should know we’re here.”

Ben didn’t look like he found that idea particularly comforting, but Rey busied herself with pulling up their location on a star map. She pointed at the small green dot. “We’re here. Do you know anything about it?”

Ben considered the map, reaching out to zoom the map out, then back in. “Not really. It wasn’t important enough to have value to the First Order.” His eyes turned dark and pensive. “I’m not sure whether I’d prefer that you landed somewhere valuable to the First Order or not. I can’t imagine I’d be elected to the Senate anytime soon.” He stretched and winced. “I’m getting a leg cramp.”

Rey sat on the edge of the cockpit and wondered if it would help to rub his leg.

Ben stretched out long and slow, wincing. “At least, I assume the Resistance intends to reinstate the Senate. My mother would want that.” He looked away, shoulders hunching inwards, and pressed his lips together. He took off the helmet, looked for a place to put it, and then held it on his lap.

“I miss her,” Rey said.

“Me, too,” Ben mumbled.

He looked so sad and vulnerable that Rey wanted to give him something else to think about. “Do you need something to eat?”

Ben appeared to appreciate the distraction—or maybe he was hungry, too. “What do you have?”

Rey reached into the back compartment and pulled out a box of ration bars. She handed one to Ben, who appeared to be trying not to wrinkle his nose at them. She supposed the Supreme Leader had eaten well. Or maybe he hadn’t, she thought, remembering the plain white quarters. Either way, she didn’t blame him; ration bars weren’t exactly delicious.

She unwrapped one and took a bite of the brown-grey rectangle. It smelled like builder’s board and tasted like sand. She reminisced about the rations on Jakku, which wasn’t exactly a compliment. They ate in silence.

Ben’s color improved a little after the food, or maybe it was her imagination. He was still pale.

Rey swung her legs around onto the wing of the ship, then hopped down—stronger after the ration bar, so there was that, at least—and looked around. The ground was hard gray rock, angling up to a mountain. There was a cave, but something about it felt wrong and she didn’t want to go in there. Trees and leaves encroached on the outcropping. On the other side, there was a low ledge and then a basin of what looked like shallow water, deepening as it became more distant. Trees grew out of the water, as did other plants. There was the splashing sound of something hopping into the water.

She looked up into the trees, green and swaying faintly in the breeze, and probably one of the safer places to be. She wasn’t sure Ben could climb that high, though. She supposed she could levitate both of them...

One of the trees further along the edge of the water and some ways back had a door-like hollow. She handed Ben his blaster and went to investigate.

Single entrance. Defensible. She ducked down and peeked inside, shining a light upward. It was tall enough that Ben could stand without ducking. The floor was strewn with leaves, and there was a hollow in the earth that suggested that some kind of animal had used it as a home, but perhaps… hopefully? ...not recently. The leaves had fallen into the hollow, at least.

It was larger than her entire home on Jakku. It smelled clean, like fallen leaves.

She walked back up on the ship, on Ben’s side, and asked, “Can you walk?”

Ben tried to stand, then flopped back down into the seat. “Kriff,” he muttered.

Rey levitated him out, and half-dragged, half-carried him into the tree. She sat him down on the ground, then handed him a lightsaber to go with the blaster. “I’ll unpack.”

“Just grab the ration bars,” Ben said. “Hopefully we aren’t staying.”

She grabbed the ration bars and a jug of water, closed up the ship, and came back to the hollow in the tree. She flopped down on the floor next to Ben and sighed.

His eyes had been open when she came back, but his head flopped onto her shoulder a short while later. She let him sleep on her shoulder for a while, warm and heavy. When her legs got tired, she gently guided him onto his side and covered him with his cloak, as a blanket.

She brushed his hair out of his eyes and looked at him. He was alive. He was here. With her.

#

Ben slept restlessly, wrists and fingers moving and face working, randomly kicking out, like he was having bad dreams. Now and then he’d wake up with a start, eat a ration bar, drink a little water, and then fall back asleep. That went on for fourteen hours.

Rey watched over him, still exhausted herself. She dozed a little herself, lightly, and would catch herself and sit back up. She didn’t feel safe enough for both of them to sleep at once. It got very dark in the tree, but she’d found an ancient lantern in the storage compartment of the X-Wing as the sun set.

She nodded off again, then sat back up, alert, in time to see pink morning light working its way into the tree. The leaves outside rustled in a light breeze—at least, she assumed it was a breeze. She looked down at Ben, whose color was a lot improved.

He opened his eyes and blinked at her, eyes dark and sleepy. “I thought… I thought your being here was a dream.”

Rey smiled. “No, I’m here, wherever here is.”

Ben scratched his head and then sat up. “I need to, um...” He moved to stand, but sat back down heavily.

“I’ll come with you,” Rey said.

Ben blushed. Literally blushed. “No, I need to…”

“Make water?” Rey suggested.

“Exactly,” Ben said. He stood, wobbling a little on his long legs.

Rey stood, too. “Do you need help?”

“I’d really rather do it myself,” Ben said.

“Well,” she said, “it’s not a big deal on Jakku. You just find a place where you won’t foul anyone else’s property, preferably downwind and out of a direct line of sight...”

Ben laughed. “Fair enough, but I’d still prefer to manage on my own.” He staggered outside, ducking slightly to exit the tree, and turned out of her line of sight. It sounded like he walked around to the edge of the rock outcropping. She listened to make sure he didn’t fall, but he returned, ducking into the tree and sitting down heavily next to her.

The light gilded the entrance of the tree, and when Rey looked over at Ben he was still pale, but with flushed cheeks.

“We’ll get you some medical attention when we rejoin the Resistance,” Rey said. “I don’t like how long it’s taking you to recover.”

Ben frowned and glanced at her sideways. “Are we rejoining the Resistance?”

“Aren’t we?” Rey said. “I want to be with my friends.” She tried to call Palpatine _my grandfather,_ but it didn’t work. She couldn’t make herself do it. “ _He_ called them my family.”

Ben sighed and set his mouth in a resigned-looking line. “Well, you should be with your friends, but I’m not sure that I...” He trailed off and looked down at his long, large hands. “I don’t think I’ll be welcome, and I don’t blame them.”

Rey considered this. Part of her wanted to say, _No, I’ll tell them you’re my family, too, and it’ll be all right!_ but another part of her knew it wasn’t true. “What did you have in mind, then?”

“I didn’t plan that far ahead,” Ben admitted. He pulled his knees up under his chin and wrapped his arms around them, which made him look young and small. “Maybe I could be a smuggler, like...” His face crumpled for a moment, and then he bit his lip and took a deep breath.

Rey leaned over and put an arm around him. They sat together, Rey holding him.

An animal growl interrupted the moment, accompanied by a strong, musky smell. How had she not noticed? Rey was on her feet in an instant, lighting her saber and baring her teeth.

The creature in the entrance to the tree was large and hairy, with multiple eyes, thick shaggy brown fur, and a large quantity of sharp teeth. The tree entrance blocked her ability to see the creature’s entire body, but…

Rey took a deep breath, then said, “It’s fine that we’re here. You’ll be glad to find a new place to sleep.”

Ben stood and walked over to stand beside her, his lightsaber in his hand but not ignited.

The creature paused for a moment, confused. There was something more than wanting a place to sleep. Rey didn’t want to hurt the creature, but she would not let it hurt Ben. She added, “You can leave now.”

The creature didn’t leave, but it didn’t attack, either. It stood there, looking confused and distressed.

Ben reached out a hand towards it, closing his eyes. He opened them again and stared deep into the creature’s eyes. It shook its large, hairy head, growling.

“Ben...” Rey started.

“She doesn’t want to go into the cave. She’s afraid of it. She needs a sheltered place to sleep during the day, and she wants this place.”

Rey knew he was right. “We’ll let you have the tree, but you need to let us pass,” Rey told the creature. “You’re happy to let us pass. We’re not threatening.”

The creature pulled back slightly, and they grabbed Ben’s cloak, the jug of water, and the box of ration bars and slipped past. The creature went into the tree. She was like a long, hairy serpent with horns and multiple short legs. Her hair brushed against the bark, and she disturbed the leaves inside, producing a rustling noise. She didn’t look like she’d fit, but she curled around on herself in a hairy circle.

Ben and Rey looked at each other for a moment, then looked around. The nearest shelter was the cave, so they walked towards it together. “I thought something smelled like bantha,” Ben said, his voice pitched low.

Rey giggled, but the giggle trailed off. As they approached the cave, it looked almost like a mouth with teeth. They looked at each other again, then went inside.

It was dark and wet, with a dripping noise, rhythmic, in the distance. Two tunnels they might walk down branched off to the right, and a smaller one led down towards what sounded like underground water. The walls were dark grey and black, and the floor was uneven. It smelled like mildew.

Rey felt her shoulders tense, and had a cold, clammy sensation of being watched, like someone was standing directly behind her. She turned and saw only the swamp. She turned back to look ahead. It felt cold, dangerous. Like Exegol.

Ben said, “This place is strong with the Dark Side.”

Rey knew that, although she didn’t say so. “We can go.”

“I don’t feel tempted, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Ben said. He sounded defensive, but there was also an odd dreamy cadence to his voice.

It wasn’t what Rey was thinking, and Rey thought it was interesting that he assumed it was. “We can stay if you prefer.”

Ben shook his head. “The longer we stay, the more likely it is to try to corrupt us. Dreams, visions, that sort of thing.” He gave her a sidelong glance, but his eyes were slightly unfocused. “Have you ever…?”

“I… had visions of myself on the throne,” she admitted.

“I had visions of the two of us on the throne.” His eyes were growing more and more unfocused. “You were my Empress, and together we ruled the galaxy.” His voice had taken on a hypnotic tone, as if he were seeing it.

Rey had a flash of herself in a red hooded robe kissing Kylo—not Ben, but Kylo—fiercely, and the two of them circling in a passionate swirl of red and black, rising into the air together, then flying backwards onto a large bed. Her cheeks warmed.

She looked over at Ben, who was staring at nothing now, and took his hand and pulled him out of the cave. He followed slowly, reluctantly, in a daze.

Once outside the cave, he blinked and shook his head. He twisted his mouth, as if he tasted something unpleasant.

“Ben,” she said, pulling his head down to look into her eyes.

“I wasn’t tempted,” he insisted. “The only part of the vision I wanted was the part with...” He stopped and looked away. He blushed. “The part with you.”

“It’s all right,” Rey said. “I saw it, too.” Her cheeks burned. “At least, I assume we saw the same thing.”

Ben smiled a sad but reassuring smile. “The Dark Side doesn’t just show you things, it makes you want them, too.”

Rey supposed that was true. It was always Ben that… it was Ben’s hand she’d wanted to take, not Kylo’s. But the vision… she still felt a craving, like hunger in the pit of her stomach. Ben’s lips looked very soft and full, and she remembered kissing him on Exegol.

“Come on,” Ben said. “We’ll find somewhere else to sleep.” He took her hand—his hand was warm and soft, probably from being protected by gloves—and tugged her away from the cave.

They walked down the sloping gray rocks to the X-Wing. Ben led her by the hand to sit beneath it, where the sun wasn’t beating down on them.

Rey felt a sudden chill that seemed to emanate from the cave, like it was angry that they left. She shivered. Part of her wanted to go back and fight it, but you can’t punch a cave, or hit it with a stick. Not effectively, at least.

Ben took her other hand, and just held her hands, looking at her, silent. She closed her eyes for a moment and imagined kissing Ben—the softness of his lips, the feel of his cheeks under her hands, the feathery touch of his hair under her fingers...

And then she kissed him. His lips were full and soft, perfect for kissing, and he pulled her closer. After the kiss he just held her for a while, until her heartbeat slowed and she didn’t care about the cave and its visions, not when she had Ben here, warm and present and all firm muscle under her cheek.

“Do you want to, um…?” she asked, blushing.

He turned very red. “Yes, but I also still feel like a bantha trampled me. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You wouldn’t,” she said.

“I think I would,” he said, smiling a crooked smile that reminded her, with a pang, of his father.

For a moment, Rey wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, but she also still felt something like the hunger from her vision, only different, warmer. “I think you won’t,” she said. “Besides, I don’t exactly have a large basis for comparison.”

Ben’s grin became even more crooked. “I engaged in awkward fumbling, once upon a time. A million years ago.” The smile faded suddenly, and his eyes went dark and haunted. “Not since…” One shoulder rose in an awkward half-shrug. “Of all the things I gave to the Dark Side, I regret giving up a sex life the least.”

He looked so sad that Rey wanted to comfort him, to wrap him in a blanket, to hug him forever, to… “I’m sorry,” Rey whispered, and kissed him.

The ground was cold and hard. Ben spread out his cloak under the X-Wing, and she helped. They both sat on it. It only helped a little, but Ben was warm. She sat closer to him and held him for a moment.

They kissed again, and it seemed to make him feel better—he even smiled at her again—but the angles were awkward. She straddled his lap and kissed him again.

“Rey,” he breathed into her mouth. She could feel him firming under her. She pulled off his sweater, exposing the long, full planes of his chest. This was a man who’d never starved, never been dehydrated, she decided. He had a delicious fullness to him. His skin was soft under her fingers, with the odd bit of scarring for texture. A strong body, a warrior’s body. Still a little on the pale side, though.

She undressed then, pulling off her overwrap, her shirt. She reached down to take off her boots, and they resisted her eager, fumbling fingers. She made a frustrated sound.

Ben sat next to her feet and grabbed the boot. “Pull,” he said.

She did, and the boot popped off, leaving Ben falling back in one direction and Rey in the other. She burst out laughing. Ben grinned and grabbed the other, and she yanked her foot out. He set the boots side by side near the end of the cloak.

She grabbed one of his boots. “Pull,” she said.

Ben laughed and shook his head.

Rey was _not_ going to be the only one without boots here. “Pull!”

Ben sighed and pulled, revealing black socks and wiggling toes. She grabbed the other boot, and he repeated the performance. She placed the boots on her other side in an untidy pile.

He crawled up to sit next to her, then stretched his legs out and wriggled his toes again. She wriggled her own toes back. It was ridiculous.

Rey snickered and finished undressing, pulling off her pants and socks, and looked at Ben expectantly.

Ben placed his hands on her shoulders and nudged her to lie down.

“But I want...” she objected, reaching for his pants.

“Trust me,” he said.

“I trust you,” she said—he blinked, and then his eyes went... awed? Like her saying that was an unexpected gift—“but I want to see you.”

He pulled off his socks, placing them tidily on the opposite side of the cloak, and pulled off his pants and underclothes and folded them up to place them next to his socks. There was a shyness, a gentleness to his movements.

He was beautiful. Tall, muscular, large, and not elegant at all. His beauty was all in his strength, his powerful muscles, his strong features and sensitive eyes and mouth, his dark hair. He had a very male smell, she decided. She liked it. She reached out a shy hand and touched his chest, his arms, his hip. His skin was warm, soft over hard muscle. His cock twitched at her touch.

He kissed her, then kissed a trail down her body, spreading her legs and kneeling between them. His knees were off the cloak, on the grey stone. He smiled at her, then lowered his face between her legs with a deep moan.

The first touch of his lips and tongue _there_ was like… was like… was like he gently opened her, soft, wet, and slick. She gasped, arched, threaded her fingers into his hair. This was what the vision had made her want, only better, _better_ , because it was _Ben_. His hands reached around her thighs and pulled her closer, his head gently moving under her hands, and he… oh! “Ben!”

He looked up for a moment to smile at her, dazzling, and went back to what he was doing. He did something with his hands, she couldn’t sort out the sensations, she just… And then she was shaking, the feeling starting in her belly and spreading out across her entire body, and she cried out, wordless.

He stopped what he was doing, and then, slow and light, the faintest little lick. She gasped… and it started again, all the wet, delicious sensation and his head moving under her hands, and then the build up towards the explosive shaking feeling across her body again.

He looked up again, his eyes so gentle and happy, and then lowered his head again.

“I… I want...” she said.

He moved up to lie next to her. “What do you want?”

His cock pressed into his belly. Rey pushed Ben onto his back and straddled him, not quite pressing him inside.

“I’m happy with whatever you decide to do,” he said. “Don’t feel like you need to...”

She slowly lowered herself onto his cock, which made him gasp and bite his lip. She had a moment of thinking it wouldn’t fit, but… but she was like an ocean, thanks to his ministrations.

“Rey...” he breathed.

She moved a little, and could tell that he liked it from his breathing and the way he moved under her, long and slow. And then he started arching his hips up to meet her, speeding up the pace, and she moved with him until he cried out under her in a way that she was sure meant that he’d experienced the same kind of explosive joy that he’d given her.

She moved up his body to kiss him—he was so tall!--and lay down on his chest. He held her, tight, breathing hard, shaking a little.

“You should be with me,” Rey said.

Ben sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I’ll go wherever you want me to.”

Rey beamed at him. He smiled back, looking startled at the intensity of her smile.

“We shouldn’t both sleep,” he whispered. “One of us should keep watch. You sleep first, and I’ll wake you up when I get tired.”

Rey nodded and closed her eyes. She was so relaxed that she fell asleep almost immediately.

#

In her dreams, Empress Rey sat on her throne with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren between her legs, licking and nuzzling, his hands under her buttocks, squeezing. The throne was hers. Ren was hers. The universe was hers, and no one dared challenge her. A voice in her head—Palapatine’s voice—crooned, “Everything is exactly as I have forseen it.”

Rey woke with a start, in a cold sweat, shaking, and Ben touched her cheek. She shivered, and he wrapped her cloak around her and asked, “Are you all right?”

“I’m… I’m ready to leave this planet,” she said.

His eyes were gentle and understanding. “I understand. Do you mind if I sleep, or do you want me to stay awake with you?”

Rey wondered what Ben would dream of, if he would hear Palpatine’s voice, too. She shivered again. “Maybe… maybe just for a little while.”

He curled up closer, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed the top of her head. He stroked her hair, her back.

Palpatine was dead. She knew it. It was just a dream.

She looked up and said, “I’m all right. You can sleep now, if you want.”

“Maybe in a bit,” he said, and kissed the top of her head again, and it was all right. He was here, and he was _Ben_ , and it would be okay.

She lay under the X-Wing, warm in his arms, and listened to the jungle sounds and the sound of Ben’s breathing, until she knew he’d fallen asleep. She watched the shadow of the X-Wing move as the day went on. Small jungle creatures ran across the rock—lizards? amphibians?

Why hadn’t anyone come yet to rescue them? She’d have to send another message. As soon as moving wouldn’t wake Ben.

Ben sat up next to her, abrupt, with a startled, gasping cry.

“Ben?”

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes dark and wild, feral, like he didn’t recognize her.

“Ben?” she said again, reaching out to touch his cheek.

He flinched. Rey froze.

Ben’s breathing slowed, and he took her hand in his and kissed it, his lips soft and warm. “I think… I think I’ve slept enough for the time being.”

Rey pulled him into a hug. He was stiff, tense. She tried to do the back stroking, hair petting thing he’d done to her and kissed him on the cheek. She wasn’t sure she was doing it right, but he relaxed a little. She sat with him, holding him, until he felt more like himself in her arms.

She pulled away and kissed his nose. He smiled.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

He nodded.

She pulled on her clothes and crawled out from under the X-Wing, then climbed up onto the wing. Little droplets of condensation were clinging to the inside of the canopy. She popped the canopy open and climbed into the cockpit.

She opened the communications channel. “Hello, where are you?” she sent. “Finn? Poe? Anyone?”

“Rey!” Finn’s voice answered, a little tinny and staticky but still him. “We got your message, but the coordinates were garbled. Can you send them again?”

She did, and added, “Please confirm that you received them. I’m not in immediate danger at the moment, but I’ve had enough of this planet. I’m ready to leave.”

“We’re on our way,” Finn said. “We’re bringing the Falcon.”

“Good,” she said. “I’ll want to bring this X-Wing. It’s not mine, but it still has sentimental value.”

“Understood,” Finn said. “Finn out.”

Rey’s smile broadened. She climbed back out of the cockpit and swung back down off the ship with a happy little flourish.

Underneath the ship, Ben was dressing. He was already wearing his pants and was pulling his sweater over his head. He put on his socks, then looked up at her with sad eyes. “I can take the X-Wing.”

Rey sat next to him on the cloak, interposing her body between him and his boots. “But you’re coming with us!”

Ben gave her a sad, silent raised eyebrow. He reached around her to grab his boots.

“You said you’d go wherever I want you to go!”

“So I did,” he said, “and I will.” He didn’t say it happily, though. He seemed…

Nervous, she decided. He seemed nervous.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’ll make it right.”

Ben shook his head, but still said nothing. He pulled on his right boot.

“I will,” she said, knowing she was being stubborn and not caring.

Ben smiled to himself, which was a little infuriating, but said nothing. He silently put on his left boot.

“I will!”

Ben leaned over and pressed his forehead against hers, placing his hands on her cheeks, and then kissed her forehead. “We’ll see.”

#

Rey thought she’d never been happier to see the Falcon when it landed. It squashed a few trees when it did—not the one with the hairy creature in it, fortunately. It landed on the other side of the gray rock expanse from where they’d slept, with several loud crashes, followed by splashes as the trees fell into the water. The Falcon landed at a decided angle, with one edge dipping into the swamp and sending a wave rushing out away from it. As it landed, Ben ducked under the X-Wing and on the other side, out of sight.

The boarding ramp lowered. Finn ran out and rushed to Rey, giving her a big hug. Poe followed at a more sedate pace. He came over and hugged the two of them, then Rey separately.

“Come on,” Finn said.

“I’m not here alone,” Rey said. “There’s someone with me.”

“Who?” Finn asked, and Poe raised an eyebrow at her.

“Just… don’t be alarmed. It’s okay.” Rey turned back and called towards the X-Wing, “Come on.”

As Ben walked forward, a look of terror crossed Poe’s face. He moved, faster than Rey could stop him, faster than Rey could speak, and drew and fired his blaster.

Ben held up a hand to deflect the beam. It bounced harmlessly away up the gray stone incline, towards the cave. He stopped in his tracks and waited. His body language was as non-threatening as such a large person could make it, Rey thought—all stillness and open chest.

“It’s okay,” Rey said. “It’s not Kylo Ren, it’s Ben Solo.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Poe hissed.

Finn stepped forward, head tilted, and looked at Ben. Really looked at him. “He… doesn’t feel like Kylo Ren.”

“You’re both crazy,” Poe said. “They’re _the same person_.”

Finn stepped closer to Poe. “I understand that. I’m just saying that...”

Chewie appeared on the ramp, ducking down to exit the ship. His usual long, loping stride stopped as he froze in his tracks. He stared at Ben.

Ben stared back, his face pale and stricken. His shoulders tightened, and his lips trembled. He visibly took in several deep breaths. The sounds of swamp insects, previously quiet, seemed loud.

Chewie threw back his head and howled, then raced down the ramp, shoving Poe and Finn out of the way. Finn caught Poe before he could fall and pulled him back up. Chewie continued to run down the grey stone, towards Ben. Ben didn’t move, except for a tightening of his lips. Chewie kept running until he could wrap his huge hands around Ben’s throat.

“Chewie, no!” Rey ran, too, skittering a little on the stone. She reached up and put her hands over Chewie’s and pulled. “Chewie!”

Ben made no move to defend himself. Tears streamed down his face.

“Chewie!” Rey tried to move into Chewie’s line of sight. 

Chewie ignored Rey. He leaned forward and howled directly into Ben’s face, a challenge. A demand for a duel. 

Ben was completely still except for the slight shake of his head.

Chewie howled into Ben’s face again, baring his teeth. _Defend yourself, or I'll kill you where you stand for what you did to Han._

“I won’t,” Ben said, his voice quiet and firm. “If that’s what you think needs to happen, then fine. I still won’t fight you.”

Rey’s hand moved towards her staff.

Chewie let go of Ben's throat and fell to his knees, howling up at the sky. _It's not fair! I lost both of them! I can't lose you again! Then I'll have nothing!_

Rey considered touching him, but reconsidered, leaving her hands hovering awkwardly near him. 

Ben roughly wiped tears from his cheeks. He knelt in front of Chewie. “I know,” he said. “I know.”

Rey glanced back at Poe and Finn. Poe was lowering his blaster.

Chewie pulled Ben into a hug, pressing Ben’s face against his chest. He howled at the sky again, holding Ben close to him. _I miss them so much._

Ben slowly put his arms around Chewie, and they rocked together for a while. “I know,” Ben whispered. “Me, too.”

Rey rubbed the back of her hand over her cheek and realized she was crying, too.

Chewie stood up then. He grabbed Ben and half-dragged him towards the Falcon. Ben looked chagrined and uncomfortable, but he allowed it.

As they passed Poe, Poe slowly raised his blaster again, but he didn’t look like his heart was in it. Chewie roared into his face. Poe blinked and lowered the blaster.

“Chewie, I...” Ben started.

Chewie roared at him, too.

“Okay,” Ben said, raising his hands, his voice meek. Chewie tugged him up the ramp. They disappeared inside the Falcon, but they could hear Chewie making soft sounds and Ben murmuring something back. The sounds receded.

And then the three of them—Rey, Poe, and Finn—stood awkwardly on the planet’s surface. They looked at each other, silent. Rey didn’t know what to say.

It was Finn who broke the tension, saying, “This planet gives me the creeps.”

“Yeah,” Rey said. “That cave is strong with the Dark Side. Let’s pack up the X-Wing and go.”

“I can feel it,” Finn said, and shuddered.

“What are we going to tell people?” Poe asked. “That we picked up a hitchhiker, and oh by the way it’s _Kylo Ren_ , and he’s our best friend now?”

“We’ll tell them we recovered the Prince of Alderaan,” Rey said.

Poe rolled his eyes. “Oh, right, _that’ll_ work.”

“Oh, come on,” Rey said. “Please don’t be like this. He turned.”

“I don’t forgive him,” Poe said, “and I don’t think you should, either.”

Rey was suddenly exhausted. “You don’t have to,” she said. “Just know that he saved my life, that he would have died saving my life if I hadn’t stopped him, and that I believe in him.”

“I really don’t like this planet,” Finn said. “Can we go? We can talk about this on the Falcon.”

“I’ll take the X-Wing,” Poe said. “The two of you can hang out with your new best friend.”

“Come on, Poe, that’s not fair...” Finn said to Poe’s retreating back.

Poe ignored him and climbed into the X-Wing. He put on the helmet and lowered the canopy without looking at them.

“Difficult!” Rey shouted after him. “You’re a difficult man!”

She couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw a half-smile on Poe’s face.

#

Chewie flew the Falcon, with Ben sitting next to him in the cockpit. Ben tried to get up, but Chewie grabbed his arm. He sat back down.

Finn opened a communications channel to the X-Wing. “Hey, Poe. You doing all right over there?”

The only answer was, “Yep.”

Finn and Rey exchanged a look, then Finn sent back, “How’s it flying over there?”

“Okay.”

Finn sighed heavily.

Rey sat next to Finn. “Is he all right?”

“I think he just feels left out,” Finn said. He glanced over at Ben, and murmured, “Other stuff, too, but also left out.”

Ben tried to get up again. Chewie grabbed his arm again.

“Chewie, I’m hungry.”

With obvious reluctance, Chewie released his arm. Ben left the cockpit.

Finn lowered his voice to an almost whisper, and said, “I think he wanted us to take his side.”

Rey sighed and patted Finn on the shoulder. “I’ll talk to him.”

“I think it’d be better if I talked to him,” Finn said.

Rey nodded and followed Ben. He had gone into a storage area with shelves full of boxes and bins—food supplies, Rey realized. There were ration bars—Rey made a face at the sight—and packets in boxes. Ben dug through the piles and piles—so much! Rey would have felt rich with this much food on Jakku! Apparently he found something he liked; he smiled at a box and pulled out two packets.

They went back out into the main part of the ship and sat side by side, and he tore open the packets. There were little bowls and spoons inside. He poured water into one and handed it to Rey. It warmed in her hand, making an almost boiling noise, and turned into some kind of pasta with blue sauce and chunks of something green in it. He poured water into his own bowl and handed Rey her spoon.

It had a sharp cheese smell, with an undertone of that reassuring pasta/bread aroma, and tasted like it smelled. The green chunks were a complementary tart.

They ate, silent and companionable. It wasn’t bad. Even better, it wasn’t a ration bar.

“You can eat the bowl, too,” Ben said. “After it’s empty. Also the spoon.”

The bowl had a kind of crispy cracker texture, softer on the inside where the pasta had rested against it. The spoon was crunchy and had a vegetable tang to it.

When they were both finished, they sat side by side. Ben kicked the bench with his heel, rhythmically, like a child might.

“Are you okay?” Rey asked.

Ben shrugged, in another gesture that reminded her of his father. She hugged him, and they sat like that for a while.

Finn walked out of the cockpit and stopped when he saw them. They separated, feeling shy.

Finn said, “So.” His face was neutral-to-friendly.

“Hi,” Rey said. “Thanks for picking us up.”

Finn and Rey smiled at each other.

Finn turned to Ben and said, “I felt Rey die.”

“You’re Force-sensitive,” Ben said. “I’ve known since the lightsaber fight in the forest. No, the village. Has anyone mentioned training you?”

Rey blinked. She thought she should be surprised, but somehow she’d always known. She looked over at Finn, and saw a flicker of anxiety, quickly hidden. 

“No,” Finn said, “I’ve been keeping that information to myself.” He twisted his mouth a little. “Or so I thought.”

Ben crossed his arms, but his expression was sympathetic.

“That’s what you were going to tell me,” Rey said.

“Yeah.” Finn smiled, a little sheepish.

“You’re lucky to be able to keep that information private,” Ben said. “I wish I could have. I won’t tell anyone. It’s your decision, what you want to do with it. I’ll support you either way.”

“Thank you,” Finn said, and he sounded like he meant it, “but my point was that I believe Rey when she says she would have died without you, because I felt her die.”

Ben shrugged again and looked away.

“That shrug means you’re welcome,” Rey said, and gave Ben a playful little push on the shoulder.

“The shrug means that I don’t think I deserve your thanks,” Ben said, “but you’re welcome, and she’s welcome.”

Rey wanted to argue with him, but didn’t know what to say. Finn didn’t seem to know what to do with that answer, either. He fidgeted a little, but he didn’t leave.

Ben sighed and looked into Rey’s eyes. “Are you sure you want me here?”

“Yes,” she said, and she didn’t have to try to make her voice firm. But it cracked a little when she asked, “Don’t you want to be with me?”

“Yes,” he said, “but...” He gestured around the ship and made a little helpless gesture with his hands.

“We could leave together,” Rey said.

“I stand by what I said on the planet,” Ben said. “You should be with your friends.”

There was a long pause, and then Finn said, “I’ll talk to Poe.”

“Let him be,” Ben said. “He doesn’t forgive me, and maybe he shouldn’t. Let him feel however he feels.”

“When did you get to be so wise?” Rey teased.

Ben smiled, one of his crooked Han-like smiles. “I’m a Jedi. We’re supposed to be wise.”

She felt herself smile and looked over at Finn. Finn was smiling, too.

Ben continued, “My… my uncle...” and his voice trailed off— _of course_ it would be hard for him to talk about Luke. “My uncle once told me that the final test to becoming a Jedi was to face the Dark Side, and to refuse it. He said that my grandfather just spent longer on that particular test than most Jedi. I didn’t take as long as my grandfather, but I didn’t exactly pass with flying colors, either.”

Rey wasn’t sure what to say to that, either, so she reached out and took Ben’s hand. Finn cleared his throat.

“Anyway,” Finn said, “if you’d like to play chess with someone who doesn’t cheat...”

Ben laughed out loud at that. His shoulders relaxed.

Finn smiled, and then he said, “I’m going to… go over here,” and went back into the cockpit area.

Ben and Rey sat side by side again for a moment. Ben kicked his heel on the bench a few more times.

“Want to see where I used to sleep?” Ben asked.

Rey grinned. “Of course!”

Ben took her hand and led her down into the storage bay, then down into hidden compartments under the floor. On the side of one of those compartments there was a loose panel in the wall, which he moved aside. They climbed through, and he let the panel slide back silently and picked up a lantern.

It was a tiny room, about the size of the mattress on the floor, with a pile of books and a calligraphy set next to the mattress. Two of the walls were unfinished metal rails, with mechanical elements—mostly floor supports—on the other side, but the walls nearest the bed had metal sheets welded to the bars. There was a stylized rune painted onto one of the metal walls, right over what Rey read as the head of the bed. “Wisdom.”

Rey sat on the mattress, and Ben sat next to her. She looked at the books. “History of Alderaan,” “Beginner’s Guide to Calligraphy,” “Introduction to Huttese,” and a few more.

“How old were you when you slept here?” Rey asked.

“Probably between the ages of seven and thirteen,” Ben said. He laughed. “It drove Chewie and my father crazy that they couldn’t find me down here.” His smile faded a little. “Once I was having an adolescent moment and stayed down here so long that they got my mother to look for me, and she found me right away. The Force. You know.”

“I know.” She reached out and took his hand again and gave it a squeeze. “I like it. It’s cozy.”

“Thanks,” he said.

Finn’s voice came over a set of speakers. “Um, wherever you’ve wandered off to, we’re landing.”

There was some turbulence, but they just grabbed the rails and held on. The loose panel they’d come through rattled a few times, but only when things were rough.

They felt the ship set down, and then Ben picked up the Calligraphy set, then stood up and held out his other hand. She took it, and they walked back through the loose panel, Ben stowing the lantern and setting the panel back.

He pushed the smuggling compartment open, and Finn was standing in the doorway of the empty cargo bay.

“Whoa,” Finn said.

Ben climbed out of the compartment.

Finn stepped into the room. “Are those compartments for smuggling?”

Ben’s face was a mask of innocence. “Not at all. They’re just loose floorboards.”

Rey hopped out of the compartment on the other side. Ben and Rey picked up the dark metal floor plate and closed up the compartment together.

“What were you two doing in under a loose floorboard?” Finn asked, but he was smiling.

“Repairs,” Ben said. “Obviously, if the floorboard is loose, it needs to be repaired. I mean, you know, since this compartment isn’t for smuggling.”

Rey laughed. “I was just taking a tour, Finn.”

“A tour?” Finn smiled. “Should I not ask what’s in the box?”

“Contraband,” Ben said. “Illegal ink and brushes. Highly sought-after. Worth a pretty sack of credits!”

“Okay,” Finn said. He breathed out a half-laugh.

“You knew we were somewhere in the vicinity of the cargo bay?” Ben asked.

Finn nodded.

“Damned Force users,” Ben said. He looked and sounded so much like his father that Rey laughed again.

Chewie’s voice carried from further down the corridor.

“It’s okay,” Finn called. “I found them.”

They could hear the door opening and the loading ramp extending. Ben’s mood visibly flagged. Rey took his hand again.

They followed Chewie down the loading ramp. They could hear cheerful banter, people talking about going about their work.

Rey looked over at Ben. He pulled the Calligraphy set closer, like it was a shield. He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. They walked down the ramp together, into the forest where they’d had their base for some time now.

The conversation outside slowly trailed off, replaced by murmured questions, muttering, and then silence.

Some people seemed to recognize Ben. Others seemed to wonder what was wrong. Rey was suddenly grateful that Kylo Ren had usually worn a mask.

Chewie tensed and looked around at the crowd. 

They’d landed next to Luke’s X-Wing. She met Poe’s eyes, and he said, loud and sarcastic, “Hey, look, everyone, we found the Prince of Alderaan!”

The moment passed, as people appeared to accept that answer and went about their business. There were some flinches and stares as they passed, but no one tried to shoot or strangle Ben, so Rey took that as a win.

Rey mouthed, “Thank you,” to Poe.

Poe made a face, then mouthed back, “You owe me one.”

Rey laughed, and Poe turned and headed off in the other direction. Finn followed him, running to catch up. “Poe! Wait up!”

Poe waited. Finn hugged Poe, and seemed to ask him a serious question, probably if he was okay. Poe glanced in her and Ben’s direction, then turned away.

Finn followed and put his arm around Poe. They were quickly lost in the crowd.

She was so busy watching Finn and Poe that she didn’t notice Lando’s approach until he was right next to them. “Hey, kid.” He had a young woman with him who was eyeing Ben curiously.

“Hey, Uncle Lando,” Ben said, but he couldn’t seem to meet Lando’s eyes.

Lando smiled sadly and patted Ben on the shoulder and said, “Good to see you again,” and then wandered off right around the time Ben looked up to meet his eyes. He paused, and they looked at each other for a moment, and Lando patted Ben on the shoulder again.

As they wandered away, the young woman asked Lando, “Who’s that?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Lando muttered.

As they kept walking towards the base and the medical center, they passed Maz. She beamed and waved at him and gestured for him to come closer. Chewie followed, exuding an air of protective uncle. 

Ben knelt down next to Maz, and she smiled and said, “Welcome home, kid. I always knew you had it in you.” She winked up at Chewie. "Hi, handsome." 

Chewie winked back.

Ben smiled at Maz, more than a little sad. “It’s good to see you, Maz. I missed you.”

She reached up and ruffled his hair, like he was a child. “You should go see a doctor,” Maz said. “You look peaky.”

“Right,” Ben said.

“Now,” Maz said.

Chewie made a noise of agreement. 

Ben laughed a little. “Okay.” He stood up.

“Come back when you’re feeling better,” Maz said. “I may have work for you.”

Ben smiled at her, a smile that could light up the sky.

#

The medical droid told Ben, “You should be fine in time. I suggest bed rest.” The droid turned to Rey. “You should rest as well. There’s nothing physical for me to fix, you’re both just depleted.”

“We were worse,” Rey said. “We’re much better now.”

“You’ll be even better after some sleep,” the droid retorted.

Rey led Ben back to her own quarters. She had a bed, and drawers full of Jedi texts, and walls, which was, as far as she was concerned, all she needed. Everything was a rich, soft brown, with a wooden headboard on the bed.

Ben put his Calligraphy set on the nightstand. She and Ben took their boots off, laid down on the bed, and closed their eyes.

 _Home_ , Rey thought, as she drifted off to sleep.

#

Rey woke up in her own bed with Ben’s arm draped across her. She glanced at her chronometer. She’d slept for eight hours. Ben seemed to sleep peacefully, unlike the restlessness on the planet.

She slipped out from under Ben’s arm and carried one of the Jedi texts back to the bed to read. Her eyelids kept drooping, though, so she put it on the nightstand, slipped back under Ben’s arm, and fell back asleep.

She woke again four hours later, her stomach growling. Ben was still asleep. His color was a lot better, and his life force felt almost normal. Rey brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed him on the forehead. He mumbled something and rolled over.

Rey smiled to herself and stepped out the door. Chewie was sitting there with his crossbow, his back to the entrance to her room.

“Chewie?”

Chewie made a sad sound at her.

“It’s all right,” she said. “He’s just resting.” And then she sat down on the ground next to Chewie, and told him, quietly, about what had happened on Exegol, and how Ben had almost died trying to save her.

Chewie put his head on Rey’s head—which was uncomfortable and heavy, but she made no move to stop him—and made a deep, mournful sound.

“Yeah,” she said. “I miss him, too.”

When Chewie straightened up and patted her shoulder, she went to the mess hall and got a breakfast tray and loaded it up for two, with two bowls of the warm porridge and milk, two plates of breakfast meat, and a little fruit. It smelled _amazing_. Her stomach growled again.

She carried the tray back to her quarters. Chewie nodded approvingly and opened the door for her as she took it in for Ben. He peeked in, then shut the door behind her.

Rey sat on the bed with the tray. “Ben?”

Ben blinked up at her with big, sleepy eyes. “Mm,” he said, and sat up with his back against the headboard.

Rey put the tray across his lap, then sat down next to him and took her own bowl—which wasn’t edible, unfortunately. It was the most delicious food Rey had ever eaten. All right, maybe not, but it wasn’t a ration bar. The porridge was bland-sweet. They picked at savory breakfast meat with their fingers and pulled apart sweet tangy fruit. Delicious.

When the last scrap of food was gone, Rey piled the plates and bowls on the tray and put the tray on the floor. “How are you feeling?”

“Almost like myself,” Ben said, “which is unfamiliar.”

Rey took Ben’s hand.

“It’s strange,” he said. “It’s like I’m me again from before I went to the temple, but with a lot of horrible memories. So, not.” He smiled, wry. “It’s going to take me a while to wrap my head around it, but...”

“I can help,” Rey said.

“You already have,” Ben said. “More than you know.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

Rey pulled him into a proper kiss. When they pulled apart, she asked, “How awake are you?”

Ben laughed. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”

“Yes,” Rey said, and straddled his lap.

He beamed at her, and then kissed her again, passionate, and then he was helping her out of her clothes again and shucking his own. He laid her on her back and started kissing a trail down her body.

“Yes,” Rey whispered, curling her fingers in his hair.

It was just as good the second time, all wet, delicious pleasure and his hair brushing her thighs while he licked and kissed and fingered, and… There was the moment of shuddering joy, and then the faintest, lightest licks, and she was ready for more.

Ben moved back up her body, and then he tilted his head, like he was considering something. He picked her up and pressed her against the headboard. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, and then… _oh_! It was fierce and fast and somehow tender all at once, with Ben holding her against the headboard and.. so deep and so strong. When she experienced the completion this time, she knew that he was close, and then he was slowing, and then lowering her to his thighs.

She brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed him again.

They lay down together on her bed. He held her and kissed her on the forehead, on the nose.

“What do you think Maz wants you to do?” Rey asked, reaching up to play with Ben’s hair.

“Probably smuggle something,” Ben said. “Maybe not. I’m not sure.”

“Will you do it?” She didn’t know how she felt about that, beyond not wanting him to leave.

“I think I need a purpose,” Ben said.

“We could open a training Temple,” Rey suggested. “Train Finn.”

“I’m… not sure I’m ready for that.” He scratched his nose. “I’m not sure Finn’s ready for that. Poe definitely isn’t.”

“What if Finn decides he’s ready?”

Ben shrugged.

“Think about it,” Rey said. “Talk to Maz. See what she thinks.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Ben said, and Rey knew he was right.

She liked the word _we_ in that sentence. They’d figure it out.

  
  



End file.
